Tag Archives: creative process

Sky’s Empty Without You.

May 24, 2024Art, Diary, Journalbird, creative process, drawing, nature as an inspiration, pencil drawing, scribbles of a blocked creative, seashells, self exploration, thoughts on creativityYuko

How is it like / to feel the sun so close on your back / your dark colored feathers. aerodynamic wings
Gliding down in sharp angles / so fast you go, and I wonder / is it for the thrill, or for the meal / If the dining is the thrill being you
Flap fluttering your little wings / like climbing up an invisible ladder / a roller-coaster known only to your kind

In midair, I hear / you make your clicking sound between your songs
Songs of life being beautiful / hardship and all, for what I learned about you / you fly alone to a distant land, each one of you
Your compact frame housing a soul / knows so well, the price of freedom.

Not too sure if I am explaining myself well enough, I decided to share what I personally did for the Creative Self Exploration, Part 4 Week 20.
Not as an “example” but to show you that, by “abstract scribble” I mean something like this.
Took me about a minute and a half, but beforehand I wrote how I feel about swallows (as typed between pictures) – the two legged / winged creature of my choice, which made it easier for me to focus.

I used 8B (very soft) graphite (drawing) pencil, which broke so I used the broken core to draw the thick lines in the middle. Eyes closed except for when I looked for the broken bit.

I think I wrote it earlier somewhere (in other words, allow me to repeat myself) that, children are usually really (enviably) good at this. Not suggesting to regress but to re-possess the ability for unrestrained fun consciously as an adult – which is most probably a great challenge for the majority of us. In other words,
please give this a try, it is fun, and you cannot mess it up even if you tried.

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Photo A Day, November 2023

November 10, 2023Art, Diary, Journal, photo a daycafe solitude, creative process, experiment, flower, flower journal, photo journal, progressive post, sea, seashells, thoughts on creativity, visual poetryYuko

This is an experiment with “progressive” style posting: relying completely-clumsily on my hunch and letting the story unfold.
Photos are taken / edited / mostly posted on the day.
Photo title-caption is in image URL / embeds.
You are invited to tag along (and let Your story unfold), also to leave comments.

Afterword

As noted in the beginning of this post, I spent my month of November 2023 posting one photo a day. While searching for the image I focused only on what feels right within. To the sea or make a tea; each step of the way I consciously consulted with my innermost self.

Inspiration is a whisper and my thoughts oft in doubting of it. The pressure to “get a shot” daily was an exciting challenge I gave myself, also was laced with creative tension.

Throughout the month Creativity wove a continuous tale mostly of personal significance. Images ‘coincided’ over and again in ways I could no way have coordinated*. The tale unfolded guided me to the greater degree of trust in Benevolent Unseen.

Collaborating with The Creativity Itself has been my greatest ambition since long. Spent decades up to this date, clearing from within myself what counters my such aim, I’d like to think now the battle is over in most part. I noticed however, during the month’s experiment the fear, a certain kind of nervousness, was still present. It’s an impulse to hesitate, to recoil from the Dynamic Creative Current, although no longer a paralyzing dread**.

But that is alright, for I’ve come to suspect, it is the tension, in longing for and fearing of Creativity I find what compels me to dare, to make my minuscule version of The Ultimate Beauty.

*I decided against giving examples, for too often what’s awe-striking in this manner is so very personal, and detailing it becomes like explaining a joke. Instead, I will let you, the visiter, experience something if it’s there for you.
**When I talk about “creative block”, basically this is what I am talking about.

History:
Published on 03Nov23 at 09:11
Turned private on 03Nov23 at 13:25
Gone public / published again on 10Nov23
Added “Afterword” on 05Dec23 at 21:27

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Spider lilies, a shell and a book. — 2021.12.19 -Here Is Your Scarab – Happy Coincidences in Creativity.

August (Alone with Waves)

September 11, 2023Art, Journal, Processabstraction in nature, creative process, nature as an inspiration, sea, spider lily red, summer, sunset, visual poetryYuko

Things I learned this summer:

Basically I am swimming in a translucent sculpture of ever-shifting Perfection.

I realized I am painting waves!!*

…and guess what? Shells are, too!!!

Present is the present with no strings attached.

Ocean humbles me but humility sets me free.**

All images were photographed in August 2023.

*The artwork in progress (photo 4, 5, 7 from top) is an abstract interpretation of a flower petal. How so in one post from 2019.11.27: Process is the Destination!!

**Please allow me to specify what I mean by “humility” here.
I am not coming from stereo-typical Japanese “politely lowering oneself is a virtue” presentation (as in, nationalism-based virtue signaling, say). This is an art website and I work within myself to write as a creative.
Ocean is bigger than me. My silly pride as a skilled, long time swimmer had gotten shattered numerous times against the sheer force of the Ocean. Surprisingly though, such surrendering to Majestic did not defeat me but has been having the opposite effect on me: it permits me to release the dynamic/energetic/unapologetic side of me. As if the Ocean itself tempts me to become more. “Be more. You won’t scare me away.”
I wrote about one of the times when I got my ass handed: 2020.12.30 – New Moon in Virgo (An inflatable buoy tied to my waist since.)

Edits:
12Sep23 – added the “**” paragraph about humility.
14Sep23 – minor corrections.
27Sep23 – minor addition.

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Artwork in progress with ocean surface. — 2019.06.22 – Sea/She

Artist at Work, August 2023.

August 16, 2023Art, Journal, Processartist at work, artist studio, black and white photography, creative process, flower, nature as an inspiration, sea, self-portraitYuko

Today. Calling up the O-chan as I paint.
Me: More-Sea More-Sea…

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Sea shells close details. — 2020.05.23 – Monochrome Diary, May 2020.

Artist in Studio. — 2016.07.15 – Artist at Work, July 2016.

Spider Lily buds close up. — 2015.09.28 – Artist at Work – September 28, 2015

New Moon in Virgo

December 30, 2020Art, Diary, Journala year in review, abstraction in nature, cafe solitude, creative process, hand made journal, narcissus, scribbles of a blocked creative, sea, spider lily, spider lily redYuko

The year in review.

September 17, 2020.

Several hours before the moon to turn dark, I brought myself to my favorite sand dune, suited up in my swim gear, like I had been all summer. Mid day in the midst of September, temperature noticeably lower but water was still warm and inviting.

I kept myself pretty much out of the sea since Fukushima incident nine years ago and spent every summer in torment, pining for my ocean fix like I would for a long lost love but this year, after hearing some millionaire technocrat talk about nano technology embeds planned for regular humans like myself I made a decision that an extra plutonium particle or two in my snout wouldn’t be a big deal.

Usually this particular beach has chaotic white forms right at the shore giving me a clue about my whereabouts – as once in water, perspective changes and you become a minute miniature existence floating in the merciless energy soup. But this day it was a little different.
The shore break was nearly non existent. Smaller day I thought, and did not assess the current nor my physical prowess of the day.

Over confidence boosted by over eagerness can cause an issue or two. Without realizing I swam out further than usual and not too long after I started to struggle. Exhaustion grew rapidly like never before and with each wave I had to duck my strength drained in heaps.

Then a thought hit me: this is how people drown. I recalled a news story about a recent mysterious drowning of an actress I had not known existed and my thinking, how could you drown in a ripple-less lake? Fear inflated instantly while my arms turned weighty rubber and I knew I was in trouble.
Then came another thought, this time with quiet, solid confidence I never knew I had:

I am not drowning here.

The next moment I felt the Guidance kicking in, and I turned on my back and floated to rest. But waves kept coming and I had to duck and duck and duck. There was only one other person on the stretch of the beach, and he, a surfer, was just getting in as I arrived, and was way over there to notice me.

Or so I thought. Few moments later I saw him walking across the shore closest to where I was as I called out “Help!!”, to which he responded swiftly.
Guidance strongly at work by then, and just as strong was the surfer who happened to be on the beach that day. As if automated I floated on my back again so as to receive help with least harm to this young man. He positioned himself between me and the horizon and gave several powerful pushes at my soles, like he would to a surfboard. Neither party said nothing, but the communication was in Perfect Flow.

What happened this day have been on my mind since. Thought about it many times where it went ‘wrong’ and what I can do in my future swim. I was fortunate, no doubt. Typing this I still feel my heart quicken.
Each time I go over though, this one point when I said “I am not drowning here” stands out as the pivotal one.
In my struggle I declared, intended from the very core of my existence. Calmly, firmly.
And with bottomless Mercy, Life responded accordingly.

Special shout out to Guidance, Mercy and the surfer I do not know the name of.

Photos, from Top:
01: The beach.
02. Year of Rat rubber stamp, not quite there but I meant well.
03. At work, May.
09. Best picnic of the year – with my muse, red spider lilies, October.
10. The work, as of December 28. (Getting there.)
11. The best find of 2020.

Last Edited: 31Dec20

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A Walk on the Beach. — 2019.12.31 – Trinity.

2018.12.23 – What broken wings?

A curved mirror self portrait. — 2017.12.31 – FAQ: What took you so long?

True North

October 13, 2020Art, Current, Journal, Processartist studio, creative process, flower, poetry deconstruction, seashells, spider lily, spider lily redYuko

Red Spider Lily blossoms, sea shells and paint brushes.

I was a child 
of the sounding sea 
love, that was stronger by far 
in a kingdom by the sea

wind, blew out of the night
envying of the angels
never dissever my soul from
a love that was more than love

the moon beams, the stars rise
all the night-tide, the sounding sea –
bringing me dreams
of love, that was stronger than they.

Pictures: Red spider lilies – how my muse looked this autumn. “We returned to vivify you.”
Work in progress: “Spider Lily Red – Flare 2”. Referential links to: Flare 1, Making of the Flare 1 in one post, and all the posts documenting the process since 2012.
Text: Poe “Annabel Lee” deconstructed/restructured.

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A Japanese Fishing Cormorant. — 2018.09.10 – Red to believe.

A hand painted dress on the beach. — Spider Lily Red – Flare 1 (2012-2017)

Beauty will save the world.

October 10, 2020Art, Current, Journal, Processabstraction in nature, creative process, flower, layered photography, macro photography, scribbles of a blocked creative, seashells, spider lily, spider lily redYuko

This is a sequel to a post “Creative Process, May 2019”.

Pictures (counted from top):
The Beauties of the world – Spider Lily Petals, my muse (1,5,7), and a Spiral Shell (3).
Artwork named “Spider Lily Red – Flare 2”, part, process, acid dye on silk (2,4,6). (Flare 1 is done.)
Background / layered chicken scratches are a journal entry glued on a cardboard, done about 20yrs ago during my lengthy, and severe I might add, creative block. Thought “Garbage!!” but I kept it for there may be a practical use for the cardboard, not the things on it.

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Spanish Bluebell stamens and a pistil detail. — 2019.05.14 – Creative Process, May 2019.

A flower petal close up. — 2014.09.24 – Every petal’s a masterpiece.

Trinity.

December 31, 2019Art, Diary, Journala year in review, bird, cafe solitude, creative process, flower, nature as an inspiration, sea, spider lily red, sunrise, sunset, wing dress, wing dress processYuko

2010’s: A Decade in Review.

Moments lived once, from top. year/month/day/time:

2010/01/01 07:13
– The first sunrise of the decade.

2010/09/06 17:58
– That summer I swam a lot in the sea, daily at sundown.
Until I became transparent and merged with the changing colors of the ocean lit by the setting sun.
Like one of them sea creatures in the deep, see-through with neon dots.

2010/11/26 11:03
– Ocean Cafe, a practice I started in late 2000’s.
Did my “don’t laugh I’m trying to surf” thing around this time as well, the last time before Fukushima blew up.
It was on a moon-lit night, just after it was full. The practice – Night Surf – I started also in late 00’s, fascination and desire to rely solely on my intuition outweighed my fear. I thought it’d make me a better artist.
Not sure if it worked but I haven’t forgotten how I felt: very, very alive.

2011/01/28 15:19
2011/01/22 14:18
2011/02/09 14:27
– “Wing Dress – Velocity” in near completion.

2011/02/18 17:56
– Light Calligraphy, another naturally emerged “practice” in late 2000’s.
I literally close my eyes and move my camera like a calligraphy brush to “draw” with the light source.
By relying solely on my intuition I thought it’d make me a ….

2011/08/28 06:10
– Tottori Sand Dune. I got there before sunrise, carrying a sewing body while still dark.
The mini dune sounded intensely quiet, like it does in a desert, especially in those hours.

2011/02/11 16:15
– Classic Japanese nondescript flip-flops.
A pair carried me to the sea everyday, so worn, I remember even today feeling the bumpy, warm asphalt beneath my soles.

2019/09/10 15:58
– From the last outdoor swim of the year. I swam so much throughout the summer, sharing the rectangles in the sun with a small group of enthusiasts.

2017/05/24 17:11
– “Spider Lily Red – Flare 1”, in process.

2017/12/30 time unknown
– “Spider Lily Red – Flare 1”, in association with the ocean.

2019/08/31 18:01
– On the last day of August I barefooted into the sea, ankle deep in the part of Pacific I’ve known for so long.
The first time since August 2012, a year after the thing blew up.
I was alive again in no time though, like as if I never left.
Like dried wakame reviving itself in water.

2019/12/31 16:15
– The Last Sunset.
The spectacle at the beach was a gift from The Artist who knows, obviously, how to end the decade with a bang.

Additional Note on “Night Surf” (2020/03/09) :

Possibly redundant but I think worth mentioning is that, accessing the intuition seems easier if I collected enough data, such as, in this case, my strength against the power of the water, the rocks, the depth, the hazards such as sharks. Before hurling myself into the pitch-black water I consulted a fisherman and a surfer knowledgeable about the particular beach, and there on my own made enough mistakes under the sun. The angle of the moon was worth paying attention to as well.

Like a navigation map the human in me wanted to know where I am at, in order to best utilize fear as a fuel so that I could, to my utmost, surrender to the Intuitive.

Moreover.
Panic grows instantly when in the sea. Especially since I was neither skilled nor enlightened, I made sure I was ‘trusting’ enough before each try. Nervous, not frightened, anxious, but excited, eager, than reckless – it is in this longing / resisting I find the spark that enlivens the Creative.

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A silhouette of a person having a tea on the beach at sundown. — 2017.11.11 – Sea Sip Solo

Sea surface with sunlight reflections. — 2023.11.02 – Photo A Day, November 2023.

Process is the Destination!!

November 27, 2019Art, Current, Journal, Processblack and white photography, creative process, flower, nature as an inspiration, pencil drawing, spider lily red, spider lily red drawing processYuko

Parable:

I am a lap swimmer, have been since early 1980’s. Been back and forth in aqua blue rectangles worldwide, total sum of distance I covered would, at this point, get me from Central Pacific JPN to the island of Guam I bet.

At one point in my 20’s I realized one thing: when I focus on getting “there” sooner, I’d have a terrible time, increasingly frustrated because, in rectangles “there” does not exist. If I focus on each stroke however, by the time I hit a kilometer I’d be high as a kite. I don’t cliche you on my website; this just simply my experience. Fitness a fringe benefit, hooked on this euphoria ever since.

Pictorial:

Project:

Spider Lily Red (2012 – )

Photos, from top (date photographed):

Petal (September 22, 2013) 
A casual, care-free snapshot of spider lily petals, from one of the early macro sessions that introduced me to their delicate / dynamic world.
The one in the middle became THE petal.

Study (November 11, 2013) 
Pencil on paper. Started off equally care-free, quickly discovered the shape to be overwhelmingly complex.
Nearly tossed the whole thing in a bin, a trash bin that is.
Why / how I didn’t remains a mystery.

Develop (June 01, 2015) 
Pencil on another paper, after few more drawing experiments and several dye tests. Incrementally molding it into my style of line drawing, initially inspired by engravings from 18th Century.

Expand (January 10, 2016) 
Still pencil on paper. My interpretations of red spider lilies are translated into each flowing lines.
At least that’s what I think I’m doing, oki?
The kind of endeavor tends to take plenty o time.

Augment (December 01, 2016)
 Acid dye on silk. Took about nine full months to paint the pencil drawing (the one below) – of the curly half of the petal I’d call it, on fabric.
Blow up copy on the wall is a drawing of the wavy half of the petal, by the way is painted on the project’s second piece at the time of this writing, in late November 2019.

Refine (October 04, 2016) 
Pencil on paper, the first of the two part drawings, congrats to me, completed.
Photographed outside hence leaves casting shadows visible on white space.

Form (May 24, 2017) 
Acid dye on silk, photographed while still in painting process but by then I was starting to see the light, the tunnel exit light.
Pinned together to match the lines at seams.

Epilogue:

There is a bird of prey named “Kite”, they glide up high in circles, scanning the ground for a strolling moron with a fish sandwich (true story). In speed of light the hungry moron would lose her sandwich, snatching so slick it’d leave her with heightened sense of awe memorable for decades to come.

Why steal when all you do is glide in circles?

Their whistles gentle like a songbird, its resonance the awe heightened up high, falling mist on the moron in euphoric micro particles.

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A spider lily petal over sea shore. — 2017.07.17 – Things seldom make sense for the first 98 percent of the process.

A drawing and an artist’s hand. — 2015.07.07 – In praise of Her Highness – Spider Lily Red update.

October That Year.

June 28, 2019Art, Completed, Journal, Processartist at work, creative process, sea, select social post, spider lily red drawing process, videoYuko

Painting footage were recorded on October 18 mostly and on 20th.
Black and white, sea-less, soundless version was upped to IG on June 28, 2019.
The one you see here is the revised, relatively fancier version, edited on 29Mar22 ~ 03Apr22.
I use iMovie, always have. I am aware of fancier editing tools but I haven’t gotten around to study them. Reasons? One-woman show with time limitations and priorities.

The piece in progress is called Spider Lily Red – Flare 1.

Published on April 03, 2022.

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Yuko Nagai. Artist.

Eternity In A Single Line.

Tag Archives: creative process

Sky’s Empty Without You.

Photo A Day, November 2023

Afterword

August (Alone with Waves)

Artist at Work, August 2023.

New Moon in Virgo

True North

Beauty will save the world.

Trinity.

Process is the Destination!!